Eggnography.com - 12 Days of Xmas

Santa!

We almost forgot you were coming tonight! Thank goodness we didn’t light a fire.
Next time you might consider adding “Xmas Eve Visit” on your Facebook Calendar or list it on Upcoming.com.

And now that I look around online a bit, there are a few more things we need to talk about.

What is the deal with your MySpace page?!

For someone that “knows” all the children of the world, you sure have a weak friends list.
I mean, you still have Tom on your top eight! (That is SO embarrassing.)

In lieu of milk and cookies, here’s a web 2.0 trick to make sure that you don’t get left in the dust by Dane Cook or Tila Tequila.

The key is to stay classy and understated. So we made you this graphic. Simply post it everywhere you can:

We’ll poke you on Facebook later! Comment back!!

Jimmy & Johnny

PLUS we left this extra goodie for the man in red:

READ MOM’S SANTA’S RESPONSE…
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Today’s post has several parts:

A) I’m relaunching the weekly HugNation “Tao Buffet” stories as a separate site/series called, “Belief Buffet.” It will be an ongoing digital gift to you (and myself.)

B) Last week’s Belief Buffet about “The Season of Gifting.”

I wanted to post it with an addendum:
The point I wanted to make was about your INTENTIONS and THOUGHTS behind the traditions of gift-giving. Giving a kid an expensive toy can be an incredibly love-filled act. Or it can be a financially painful gesture of obligation. There is no need to change holiday traditions that you get joy from!

C) Last call to send me your address so I can send you a free Grandpa DVD Gift! (Heck, give it as a gift to someone this Xmas!)

This Burning Man-Inspired Tale is bound has become a new Holiday classic.

Dear Santa!

Thanks so much for all your hard work!
But as we all know, with hard work, comes a manly odor.

Not only do you have the undeniable stench of an overweight man in too much clothing, but you’ve also got to deal with the smell from a night’s worth of reindeer debris, chimney soot, and the occasional kiss from someone else’s mommy.

Not to worry! We got your back, Santaman! Just spray a bit of this stuff on your way home and Mrs. Claus will love you for it.

13 Holiday Activity Ideas:n:

1. Tease kids who have to go to school during their religious holidays.

2. Don gay apparel.

3. Try telling a cop, “actually, the pipe is for my snowman.”

4. Ponder eggnog. (they should call it “flegmnogg”)

5. Punch anyone who says, “Like a Lightbulb!” while singing Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.

6. Play dreidel drinking games.

7.Run around and play TRON on a street with lots of X-mas lights.

8.Say, “Mmm, mmm, fruitcake!” whevever you pass gas.

9. Walk around the house wearing nothing but tinsel.

10. Adopt all the sick dogs from the Humane Society and give them as gifts.

11. Sculpt Nativity Scenes out of lunchmeats.

12. Make a gingerbreak crackhouse.

13. Think up holiday-themed names for your genitalia like: Yule Log, Santa’s Little Helper, Pubic Wreath, or stocking stuffer.

(leave YOUR suggestions in the comments)

(pink tree image by Janice)

A year ago today, during our weekly HugNation, Grandpa told us about what he was giving to his grandkids for Christmas (and reminds us about the spirit of the season.)

recorded Dec 6, 2006

Instead of Cookies & Milk, my brother and I leave silly letters and gifts for Santa. Here is what my brother and I left for Santa in 2003, 2001, & 2000!

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Tonight is the first day of Channukah!
Today’s twist on an important Jewish Holiday tale is relayed to us by my childhood friend, Deron. (Illustrations by Halcyon)

DISCLAIMER FROM THE AUTHOR: This Tale is in honor of the Jewish holiday, Channukah. While I am not a practicing Jew, I was raised Jewish and it is, afterall, a culture as well as a religion. The origins of Channukah are pretty sketchy, but I believe that this holiday came about in celebration of a war victory sometime before Christ was born. In the Jewish tradition, it is important to keep the “eternal flame” in the temple lit at all times, thus the name: eternal flame. After this war, there was only enough oil to keep the lamp going for a day, but it lasted for eight. This is why Jewish boys and girls get 8 gifts during Channukah; one gift for each day the flame stayed lit.

What follows is a short one act play that I’ve entitled “The
Fifth Day of Channukah: The Day of Uncertainty”

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